Author Archives: Greg Bruns

Greg Bruns

Greg A. Bruns is a freelance writer residing in Phoenix, Arizona. His monthly column "Straight Up with a Twist" appears in the Arcadia News. His first book, Tales from the Scenic Route, is currently unpublished. Greg also pens "Ask the Faceless Assassin" - an "advice" column.

Razor Burn

While walking through the park last Sunday afternoon on a casual date with a young woman I recently met, I finally found my match in the weirdness department. Being Sunday, I opted for the ball cap in lieu of a shower and exercised my one-day-option of freedom from shaving my mug. I thought nothing of […]

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Spring Cleaning the Clutter in my Mind

Since this is the time of year for such grandiose events as cleaning out attics, basements and gutters, I’d like to do a little cleaning of the attic in my head.

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Seattle: Emerging Character

My initial suspicions of Seattle were only confirmed and further exacerbated by desperate news crews in December 1999 during Seattle’s brief contentions with the "Evil" WTO. As the networks covered the protests, violence, and chaos in the damp Seattle streets, they attempted to put a finger on the city; to label it with a few […]

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Christmas Gift Ideas

Every year at Christmas time my mother asks the family the same question. “What is your most memorable Christmas gift?” My father recalls a bicycle that he received when he was in his pre-teen years. He was somewhat displeased at the time, since this present was his sole Christmas gift and his other siblings seemed […]

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The Things We Do For Love

At the all-knowing age of 13, I developed a purely hormonal crush on a neighbor girl who I admired from afar. Completely infatuated, my thoughts were plagued with trembling scenarios of what I would do once I earned enough money from my paper route (which paid only slightly more than the average Ugandan Day Laborer’s […]

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Survive This!

Who wrote “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”? Nowadays, you could be a millionaire if you know this answer. The recent surge in the popularity of game shows has me baffled.

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So You Want to Date a Stripper?

So you got a stripper’s phone number, huh?

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Dear Mr. President

Greg A. Bruns Phoenix, AZ 85018 The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW Washington, DC 20500 Dear Mr. 43rd President: Congratulations on your new job! What a promotion, huh? All the way up to Commander In Chief – wow! You must have what the old-schoolers call “moxie.” Or is that money that you need to […]

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Instant Gratification

My whole life has been spent in the pursuit of instant gratification. It must be some new generation thing, or it might have something to do with my genetic makeup, I’m not sure. All I know is I don’t have any interest in anything on this planet that cannot, or will not, satisfy my immediate […]

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Your Guide to College

So you’ve flown the nest, busted out of the coop, kicked your way out of the house that holds you? Congratulations on being accepted into the realm of higher education. You need to know a few things first, since people are going to be filling your heads full of nonsense real soon. There are only […]

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