Tag Archives: Marriage

Where It Grows


I’m standing in the grocery store balancing cloves of garlic in either hand. They are for my vagina.

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Mean, Part Three

Wife three: I’m no trophy. I hear phrases like practice makes perfect. Or three is a charm. They’re lying, of course.

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Wife two was a stripper. And sweet, too. He traded her in for me, wife number three. To people I don’t know, I say she was a dancer.

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Memo from Bridesmaid #8

Anyway, after a couple of hours with Stephanie I wanted to shout, “Gin is NOT a fragrance, you fat ho!”

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