While spring cleaning, I came across a crumpled letter I had placed in an old Beatle scrap book in my youth. It made me smile.
new year’s eve. i have slept on a love seat with my feet up and my head down and allergy medication so my head is full of blood and rain and driving roads. i dream i write a brilliant story but upon waking i only remember the words “white” “crayon” and “sky” from the final [...]
Every Unedited Thing in the Identity Theory Non-Fiction Box Regarding Facial Hair: June 2-Aug 24 (in reverse order)
Hey, Did you shave your facial hair? And if so, were you walking downtown today in a blue shirt, listening to your iPod? I thought I saw you near the Thompson Center. We should get together this weekend if you and Josie are around. I’m going to chad’s friday night and staying through [...]
Inmates and their families or loved ones regarding (for the most part) life in, out and around Deerlodge, Montana State Prison. Some quotes are abbreviated. Others are in reference to different prisons in America. But all are genuine. Letters and reports from Prison Talk Online and elsewhere. “i was asking a qustion about my son [...]
A composite of the 777 e-mails I’ve deleted in the past few days Dear FIRSTNAME (friend), I know you’re very busy so I’m gonna get right to the point. THE INCUMBENT PRESIDENT(CHIEF OLUSEGUN OBASANJO) HAS MAPPED OUT SOME STRATEGY TO USE THE COUNTRY’S PETROLEUM MONEY TO FINANCE HIS CAMPAIGN, HE RAISED THE COST OF PETROLEUM [...]
At the risk of sounding heartless, I confess that I am not in a state of terrible mourning over the loss of the space shuttle Columbia, nor do I find myself paralyzed with grief for the seven brave and talented souls who perished in its final fiery disintegration over Texas. I haven’t shed any tears [...]
Until you came up behind me, I was on cruise control. I pegged you for another of those nose-pickers of the interstate. But when I moved to pass a truck, you sped up to tailgate me. You got behind me — breathing down my neck — and then you flashed your headlights. You know I [...]
While walking through the park last Sunday afternoon on a casual date with a young woman I recently met, I finally found my match in the weirdness department. Being Sunday, I opted for the ball cap in lieu of a shower and exercised my one-day-option of freedom from shaving my mug. I thought nothing of [...]
Since this is the time of year for such grandiose events as cleaning out attics, basements and gutters, I’d like to do a little cleaning of the attic in my head.
One man’s account of joining the Armed Forces to defend the American way of life.
My initial suspicions of Seattle were only confirmed and further exacerbated by desperate news crews in December 1999 during Seattle’s brief contentions with the "Evil" WTO. As the networks covered the protests, violence, and chaos in the damp Seattle streets, they attempted to put a finger on the city; to label it with a few [...]
Every year at Christmas time my mother asks the family the same question. “What is your most memorable Christmas gift?” My father recalls a bicycle that he received when he was in his pre-teen years. He was somewhat displeased at the time, since this present was his sole Christmas gift and his other siblings seemed [...]
At the all-knowing age of 13, I developed a purely hormonal crush on a neighbor girl who I admired from afar. Completely infatuated, my thoughts were plagued with trembling scenarios of what I would do once I earned enough money from my paper route (which paid only slightly more than the average Ugandan Day Laborer’s [...]
As human beings and writers, we are questioning the power of ink in altering the headline news. Some editors and publishers consider a literary call to arms a prerequisite, a necessary step in the global healing process; others find it a tacky, trite, and opportunistic maneuver toward personal publicity, rather like dressing up bloodshed for [...]
When I first thought that my musings might be good fodder for a column, if nothing else than to serve as a public forum for my self-obsession, I immediately began worrying that people would think I was trying to emulate the very successful Candace Bushnell and her "Sex & The City" legacy, or at least [...]
Who wrote “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”? Nowadays, you could be a millionaire if you know this answer. The recent surge in the popularity of game shows has me baffled.
A sentence is. Is. the packaging of knowledge. Zen is. Is. the attainment of nothing. Nothing. more than “Did I say that?”" What I add is. Is. what I subtract.
So you got a stripper’s phone number, huh?
Greg A. Bruns Phoenix, AZ 85018 The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW Washington, DC 20500 Dear Mr. 43rd President: Congratulations on your new job! What a promotion, huh? All the way up to Commander In Chief – wow! You must have what the old-schoolers call “moxie.” Or is that money that you need to [...]
My whole life has been spent in the pursuit of instant gratification. It must be some new generation thing, or it might have something to do with my genetic makeup, I’m not sure. All I know is I don’t have any interest in anything on this planet that cannot, or will not, satisfy my immediate [...]
So you’ve flown the nest, busted out of the coop, kicked your way out of the house that holds you? Congratulations on being accepted into the realm of higher education. You need to know a few things first, since people are going to be filling your heads full of nonsense real soon. There are only [...]