When the chubby punk rock girl who wore wrestling shoes wanted
to give up her virginity to you, did you do it for the sense of
a. She wasn’t really a virgin.
b. I was embarrassed for myself, for her friends, for the posters on her wall.
c. She wasn’t really chubby.
d. She had a Mohawk for a few weeks. Everyone had a secret fantasy of having sex with her then.
Your cousin squeezed your ass when she kissed you goodbye. What was that like?
a. There was a lot to drink. She was confused. I was wearing an ascot.
b. I’ve always liked Claire. She spoke to me like a child and it was exciting for me. She patted me on the head when I graduated from UCLA.
c. Once, we hid in the bushes and threw eggs at cars.
d. I saw one of her breasts when I was ten. We were celebrating 4th of July and she had caught a spark that flew into her bikini. She pulled it down quickly and splashed water on her right breast, patted her hand on her nipple for a while. I still wonder if it left a scar.
Josh teased you about the chubby girl whenever he got drunk. He said words that made you feel bad.
a. He had red hair and his body was awkward and always lurching down the school hallway.
b. Once when you were playing flag football he pushed you into a sprinkler and cut your knee.
c. He said he liked James Dean movies but he didn’t know a fucking thing.
d. One of the things about drinking is that it seems to make Allen and Josh and Sarah feel all important. But it makes you feel worthless.
That Korean kid died in the pool.
a. Those shoes had so many laces, so many holes, it forever to get them off. She wore white athletic socks. She was chubby.
b. I always hated doing things with a team. I like doing things by myself. I’d sit in my room for hours listening to music and swaying in my little mushroom-shaped stool. I drew pictures of basketball jerseys.
c. I went to the big waterfall and made a wish.
d. Her friends would have hated me if she had friends. I saw her a few years later at the mall, working at a jewelry store. Her breasts were getting bigger.
You only notice the scratching sounds at night. They come from inside the wall.
a. I was hitchhiking and got picked up by a drunk. He tried to hold my hand. He kept asking for my name. When he dropped me off he still lingered like I would change my mind.
b. Do rats screw a lot? Maybe it’s a cat. I have not seen a raccoon in this neighborhood. Maybe it’s my cousin.
c. I never remember what my dreams are. I just wake up on the couch and they’ve totally run away. It’s completely dark in here.
d. Her mother was quite nice to me. Maybe she didn’t care what I was about to do.
You just remembered that time in Walla Walla, at the family reunion.
a. Besides stopping at that hamburger place by the Blue Mountains, that drive was just more time to think about my insides.
b. I sent her money in the mail. She said she was pregnant. It was my first of three abortions. There’s nothing I can really say about who gets to carry the fault, or how we may have split it.
c. I hate Walla Walla. There was a steep grassy hill by my grandparents. We took turns rolling down it like logs. That was the only good thing about it.
d. Josh went out with her too, but she dumped him.