(Eric Spellman)
(Featured author for June 2001)
Eric's Identity Theory articles:
this_may_cause_a_seizure_it_looks_like_it_moves
religious
harmony
Weird Spellman eyes: 1,
2
Letter
to Bill O'Reilly
Eric "Biggie" Spellman (wu-name: superintendent god-botherer) comes from Satellite Beach, Florida. He is a grad student of Computer Science/Artificial Intelligence/Cajun-Crusted Pizza/Ping Pong at the University of Florida, where he doubles as Billy Donovan's interpreter.
Biggie has one daddy named Baba and another daddy named Spelltrader. His mother is extremely nice. They are a two-Honda family. Once, one of the Hondas flipped over, but Eric was okay.
Eric also has an uncle named Monte, who has a son who made a movie.
Eric runs really fast.
"I'm a baller," he once said.
As the lead singer for Biggie's Open Wound, Eric's soulfully tormented vocals rush to mind such names as Cobain, Vedder, and Brak. In the track "Blatantly Stolen Intellectual Property," he draws you into his psychonautical labyrinth with the seductive lyricism of the University of Florida Telephone Directory: "James M Abdale—Junior! 336-8253."
Spellman's follow-up release, "Research and Mockery," artfully blends the sensual rhythms of '70's-era porn with the absurdist verbiage of the Borondy anti-poem "Like a Bitch." Always wearing his heart on his short white sleeve, Biggie's trauma reverberates through the listener's soon-to-be-troubled psyche as he laments, "Don't cry about girls, jackass / knives cut my soul / Don't throw lemons on football fields of dreams!"
"He is clever." -Kayla
"He's a pretty nice guy for being the antichrist and all." -Dave
"He hates epileptics." -Kayla
"I don't think he likes French people, either." -Dave
"He likes to experiment with different mediums." -Kayla
"I am Jack's appreciation for rightfully-self-deprecating-addendums."
-Eric
"You can reach me in the lab at 392-1069." -Eric
"I'm gonna have some carrots." -Eric
"Get it?" -Eric
"Don't tell anyone that." -Eric
"What do you have against file sharing?" -Eric
"Go look at the big, spooky eye." -Eric
"We drove around looking for the 13K$ house. We instead found a
large wild
dog." -Eric
"No. It was some French guy. But really it was Jesus." -Eric
"I'm lobbying for you to name Claude E. Shannon as the Identity Theory ex post facto author of the month of March." -Eric
"508: Number of Iranians who in 1999 pledged to sell their kidneys to fund the fatwa against Salman Rushdie." -Time. Jan. 24, 2000, issue.
Websites Re: Biggie— Eric Spellman Update. Glorious Spellman Webpage.
Contact Biggie at spellman@ufl.edu.