Greg A. Bruns

Freelance Writer, Esquire, Happy Son, Free Mind. And our featured author for October 2000.

Greg's Identity Theory articles...

Straight Up with a Twist columns:

PC Demo Game Reviews:

Other Columns:

So you want to date a stripper?

Greg A. Bruns was born in Indianapolis, Indiana, in the late 60's. He spent his early years frolicking through cornfields and building solid wood forts in a gigantic walnut tree behind his house, which he would defend by hucking unripe walnuts at local children who wanted to conquer his empire. At the age of 12, his family migrated to Arizona, where he has lived ever since.

By the time he was 21, Greg had at least two dozen short stories under his belt, and many of his readers (friends) suggested that he seek some sort of publishing outlet. Shaking the idea of a writing career, Greg entered college at Northern Arizona University at the age of 24, after a few years of life in the travel industry. In 3 years he earned a Bachelor's degree in Geography, with a Minor in Recreation & Leisure, a rather befitting Minor indeed.

After a brief stint as a State Park Ranger, Greg decided to join the fraternity of Corporate America. Three years of that nonsense was all he could handle, and in fit of yearning for self-discovery he quit his cushy sales job and took off on a whirlwind tour of America in his Jeep.

Several months later, Greg turned up again in Phoenix with his laptop full of words, which he turned into a series of connected events that he later declared a book, but never published.

Now you'll find Greg Bruns writing for the Arcadia News, a community publication in Phoenix, Arizona, which he also helps produce. His love for the written word is not lost, and his favorite authors include: Hunter S. Thompson, Carl Hiaasen, Mark Leyner, Ernest Hemingway, Tom Wolfe, Jack Kerouac, and many others. Greg's primary focus in his writing is humor, which he considers to be a dying art form.

Greg is single, lives alone, and enjoys Stone Brewing Co.'s Arrogant Bastard Ale as a regular beverage, much the way that most people enjoy water as a regular beverage. His goal in this life is to run his own publication. And be happy. You can never forget the part about being happy.

He's a pretty good guy. But some people don't like him, and he's okay with that. Because you can't please everyone. He'll tell you that, too. You can't please everyone. He is somewhat of a gourmet chef, and even makes his own Jaigermeister truffles, which are sure-fire hits at any party. He plans to buy a sailboat someday and tour the Caribbean.

i.d. interview

i.d. theory: Why do you consider humor to be a dying art form?

Greg: "Caddyshack" and "Fletch" have been done and "Seinfeld" is off the air. "Saturday Night Live" hasn't been funny since the early 90's and Dave Barry has written about everything under the sun. With noted exception to the platypus, the yak, and American politics, there are very few examples of natural humor left on this planet.

i.d. theory: Thompson, Kerouac, Hemingway are very travel-oriented writers. You've written your own travelogue of sorts. And have a degree in Geography. So, you've been around, at least in your mind. Now Greg, could you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?

Greg: Look for the "Electric Company" and a big bird.

i.d. theory: Say a desperate TV network decided to make a sitcom out of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas." A competing network then decided to do the same with "On the Road." A third network, of course, would have to compete with something like "The Sun Also Rises." If you could play a character in one of these sitcoms, who would it be?

Greg: Wow - this would be a dream come true, even though I doubt that America is ready for the frightening ramblings of HST with "Fear & Loathing" on a weekly basis. Besides, it might be a bastardized version of the true "F&L" to appease the network, but I'll play along.

"Fear and Loathing" - I would HAVE to be Dr. Gonzo, just because I've lived that adventure many times in my own life (sans hallucinogens, of course). Waking up on TUESDAY with scrambled notes and hazy memories of an expensive adventure, that's my kind of deal.

"On the Road" - Dean Moriarty made this book exciting, and I would love to explore the nuances of that character. What better way to do it than appearing opposite "Survivor II" on Wednesday nights on NBC?

"Sun Also Rises" - (my favorite Hemingway, by the way). I'd want to play Brett Ashley - just because she is so damn spoiled, and I can play spoiled pretty well.

i.d. theory: Halloween is coming up. Any costume ideas?

Greg: I've always wanted to go as "The Most Annoying Person in the World." You need only two props: whiskey (and plenty of it) and a bullhorn.

i.d. theory: When you come out with your own publication, what will you call it?

Greg: "Voodoo Matter" or "Bombay Bulletin."

Greg has a website of his own, GregBruns.com.