I'm rather suprised Mr. Vitale sent Arizona to the Superdome (which actually has its own water cycle - storm clouds form if they shut off the A/C) over his precious Dookies.

But anyway, in the spirit of Matt's bracket breakdown, here's mine -



SOUTH

#1 Texas gets upset by (insert play in winner here)... no, not really. I'm not stupid. They also beat Purdue, who upends a overrated LSU squad.

#5 UConn takes out the Latter-Day Saints but falls to #4 Stanford (respect the tree, dammit).

#3 X-men squeak by icy #6 Maryland (which I should be given upset credit for, since EVERYONE is taking the Terps).

It's all about Sam Houston State baby. For about 2 minutes. Billy D burns the full time out, sits Brett Nelson and makes the Ice Palace louder than a Lightning game in the rout. Gators move on to embarass Michigan State thoroughly. Jake loses his voice... again.


In San Antonio:

Texas downs the Cardinal (singular), UF X's out Xaiver, and the Gators beat Texas, which nobody sees coming. The racous pro-Horns crowd means nothing, as it meant nothing in Dallas.

In a word:

FLORIDA



EAST

Pay attention here. Oklahoma is the #1 sent home early - a very hot NC STATE shocks everyone.

The east is upset city for me - Butler is my obligatory 12 over 5, but not for long - Louisville is back on track and gets another weekend of playoff basketball.

Syracuse beats Oklahoma State. It bores me.

Auburn shows why it belongs in the NIT - I take St. Joe - big. But two days later, I'll take Wake, big.



Welome to Albany.

NC State outruns, outreds the Cardinals (plural). Wake "upsets" Syracuse in Albany. The Pack did it to Wake in Green'bo, they do it again up north. Yes, that's right:

NC STATE.

It's the 20th Anniversary of NC State's only title. Between CBS, ESPN and the Deuce, that damn Valvano-hugging-everybody clip gets 5 hours of air time a night until April.



MIDWEST



The Indiana University - Purdue University Indianapolis Jaguars... loses to Kentucky by 100 points. As does Oregon. Why not both?

Sorry Matt, Tulsa gets the best of Dayton in my bracket, but the Golden Hurricane gets hit with the immutable block of cheese. Wisconsin must play more games.

Mizzou should have beaten OU in the 12 (I call it the 12 now, not the Big 12) championship, but it's OK - they beat the overrated Salukis and Marquette who had their one shining moment a month ago. (It should be noted that in God's bracket, Holy Cross wins it all.)

How can you pick against Pitt?



Grab your jackets kids, it's Minneapolis!

Remember the immutable block of cheese? Kentucky eats it. Tubby Smith likes cheese - hence the nickname, Tubby.

How can you pick against Pitt?

The Elite 8 game - How can you pick against Pitt? Simple. Have them play:

Kentucky.
Tubby Smith's real name is Orlando. Upon hearing this news, Florida Gov. Jeb Bush changes the city of Orlando, Florida's name to Freedom City in protest, much like we did with another colossal asshole, France.



WEST

Arizona is overrated. That said, they still beat Vermont and Gonzaga, which, come to think of it, is also overrated.

Notre Dame (or, as the U.S. House likes to call them, Freedom Irish Catholic) drinks the Fightin 'Brewskees of Wisconsin-Milwaukee (who are actually called the Panthers, but I don't care) and Illinios. I'm not giving a reason, I don't have to.

Never underestimate Creighton. That said, never underestimate Duke.

Kansas over Memphis. I tire of this.


'Zona, the Dame, Kansas and Duke. Anaheim is the Happiest Place on Earth after all - this is the best Regional.

Arizona beats the French Irish.

Again, never underestimate Duke, who rock and chalk the Jayhawks.

One more time... NEVER UNDERESTIMATE

DUKE. Yes, they suck. But they're Duke. And Arizona is overrated.



So it's Kentucky, Duke, Florida and NC State in Nawlins'. AI-EEEEEEE!

Game 1 - Florida vs. NC State. Sorry Cinderella, nice red dress, but against the Gators, the clock strikes midnight. Enjoy the Rue Bourbon (or as the U.S.... aw, screw it).

Game 2 - Kentucky vs. Duke. Kentucky is foaming at the idea of putting to rest those Pontiac and Nike commercials with Christian Laettner breaking the Wildcat's hearts in 1992. They do so, sort of, as much as a win here does anyway.

Game 3 - Florida vs. Kentucky III. An epic. Comes down to the last shot. "PEEP FROM DEEP - OH MY!!!!!" Anthony Roberson, freshman, his the game winner in the NCAA championship game. 21 years ago, UNC won a national championship game with a game winning shot from a freshman. His name - Michael Jordan. He went on to play baseball.
posted by Jake at 4:38 PM

Dickie V taps Florida and Kentucky for the championship game. I can live with that.
posted by K-Dawg at 9:33 AM

Even though I never watch college basketball except for the occasional Gators game (which they inevitably lose), like most red-blooded Americans I am going to fill out a tournament bracket. Since there's no room for a huge bracket, I'm just going to summarize the regions and pick the Sweet 16 games and beyond. (If you're looking for a blank bracket, go here.)

MIDWEST

#1 seed Kentucky fights off Oregon in the second round and makes the Sweet 16 despite having a coach who is a complete jackass.

#4 seed Dayton takes care of bizness in the first round then beats Weber State (who had upset Wisconsin in Round 1) to make the Sweet 16. Go Flyers.

#3 Marquette is vicious and puts a spanking on a couple of teams to make the cut of 16.

#2 Pittsburgh gets a tough game from Indiana in the second round but moves on.

Pretty cut and dry up to that point. However, Dayton pulls off the upset of Kentucky and makes the Elite Eight. They face Marquette, who squeaks by Pittsburgh on a buzzer beater. Dayton-Marquette is a toss up. Any rational person would probably take Marquette, but I'm from Dayton and know nothing of being rational.

Midwest winner: DAYTON

WEST

#1 seed Arizona is everyone's bitch, and they don't really have any competition until the Sweet 16.

#4 seed Illinois is always tough and will make it to Minneapolis to face Arizona.

#6 Creighton is a terror. They will shock Duke in the second round and advance to the 16.

#7 Memphis gives Kansas the boot in the second round and takes on Creighton.

Illinois knocks off Arizona as karma for that MLK Day fiasco. Creighton takes out Memphis to move onto the Elite Eight. However, Illinois is the class of this bracket.

West winner: ILLINOIS

SOUTH

#1 Texas goes to double overtime to knock off LSU in the second round and advance to the Sweet 16.

#5 UConn slays the Mormons (BYU) and then fucks up some smaht guys (Stanford) to advance.

#3 Xavier is too much for Maryland because the guy who picked Maryland on ESPN seemed like a jackass.

#2 Florida heads over to Texas after exacting revenge on Michigan State.

Texas gets a tough game from UConn to advance for an Elite 8 matchup with Florida, who scrapes by Xavier on a Roberson 3 pointer. Justin Hamilton of Florida shuts down that guy on Texas who everyone talks about and Florida dominates the Longhorns, winning by like 40. Suck it, Texas.

South winner: FLORIDA

EAST

#8 seed California pulls off a second-round upset of Oklahoma to advance to the Sweet 16.

#12 seed Butler takes care of Mississippi State and Louisville and everyone talks about how they saw it coming.

#3 seed Syracuse is money for the 16.

#10 seed Auburn joins the upset action, knocking off St. Joseph's and Wake Forest to advance.

California slaughters Butler; Syracuse does the same to Auburn. The Orangemen, with home court advantage, are too much for the Golden Bears.

East winner: SYRACUSE

The Final Four

Dayton and Illinois, a couple of 4 seeds from the Midwest, bang it out, with Dayton winning because God takes a long nap and forgets the rules of the universe.

God is still sleeping when the Gators take on Syracuse in a fitting matchup for Billy Donovan, who talks to the Syracuse coach about the current real estate market in New York. A lot of orange and blue on the court in this one, but since God is still sleeping, the Gators pull it out.

This sets up a title game between Dayton and Florida. God wakes up, sees the game going on and says "What the fuck?!? Where's Tubby?"

Dayton cowers at the site of Matt Bonner, who scores 45 points and does his homework during timeouts. The Gators win by more than Dicky V can count, and Billy Donovan bolts for the Knicks. He wins fewer games there than the Gators win the next year behind their new coach, John Pelphrey.
posted by Matt at 5:59 AM